After a death, there are many points in the calendar that will speak of the passage of time. Birthdays are one of them.
Continue reading40. You would have been 40.
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Tag Archives: loss
Surgery, Christmas, and brain wonkiness
Yeah, I know, that is a variable title that pretty much sums up the present right now.
Continue readingI never got to say goodbye…
I was doing “well,” which is always a relative term with me this past weekend. I had a long hard day yesterday, and we settled into watch a couple shows to defrag, one of which was Call the Midwife.
Continue readingCaramel sauce
What’s in a title you may ask? Well, for starters, a picture of a successful batch of caramel.
Continue readingStill learning
Trust is a thing that is inherent in babies. Just watch, the little boogers will topple off the top of anything, surprised at the results. We adults patiently teach them caution and catch them when we can.
Continue reading“Trauma body” response – losing my second daughter
I don’t know why it surprises me anymore. Really. I just need to accept that this is part of my fabric and can come when I least expect it.
Continue readingIt would have been 5th grade
Time has not eased moments like these. They said it would. They lied.
Continue readingEmptiness
There is an emptiness within that will never be filled, a broken heart. I ponder if her birthday is even harder than their death date?
Continue readingHappy almost 10th birthday Maribella…
I touch down into my body occasionally with this, and my body rejects it much like food that is spoiled. It is like, nope, sorry, not going there. Not possible. Not one little bit. But, alas, it’s true 🙁
Continue readingPlodding along
I think I want to plan a honeymoon each year about this time. It helps distract from the many things going on in my mind relating to the grief around Bella. Especially with her upcoming birthday…
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